"Get out"

"Get out"

"Get out or I'll kill you"

"How did you get in here?"

"Well, you may be harmless but we can't be sure of that so I'll have to kill you"

"Sorry. You're disgusting. Oh I don't mean I'm sorry because you're disgusting I mean I'm sorry I have to kill you [because you're disgusting]"

(beat)

"You're more disgusting dead than alive…"

**A conversation I had with a nondescript insect in the bathroom after midnight…