So yesterday my boss seemed to be having one of his "catch'em unawarez" moments, and he went through some old lists which we the employees neglected as being "Old unimportant feeback reports that have been forgotten so let it go"....
Anyway, the way he spoke to me was anythign but pleasant, in fact it was enfuriating, so for the rest of the day and the following morning I felt like I hate this person more than ever, I even wondered how I would feel if he was hanged publicly... I couldn't believe I would be so rancorous as to feel happy! That's bad
Anyway, today, I was sitting beside the window waiting to receive a new assignment, so I tried to take a nap and buried my face between my arms... I woke up to a pounding sound on the chair, it was my boss, he was like: are you okay? I said yes and that I was waiting to receive a new file, so he just laughed and walked away. In that moment, I felt that I no longer hate him! I was like: He's not bad after all... I don't know if this is good or not, but I find it hard to stay angry with anyone, even if I don't particularily like that person... and it's working very well for me so far!
I'm not trying to show off as a good girl, you know I have a very dark side to uncover :D BUT, the point I wan t to highlight here is: For those who waste their time and energy on questioning other people's intentions, focusing on their shortcomings and making a mountain out of a mole hill, try changing this attitude... even if someone really did you wrong, let it go, the hatred in your heart hurts you first of all, don't let it get to you!
Great! Now I started to sound like Mahatma Ghandi! :s
Anyway, what I want to say is: if someone thinks less of you, it's their problem, they have no right to judge you... misunderstandigns usually dissolve with time... We are all people, so everyone must have a bright side somewhere! Ask yourself why you have problems with people. In fact, you have to come over your ego and second-guess yourself. Ask yourself why you have problems with people, why you judge people, why you assume the bad intention and how you don't like to be judged this way... And, most importantly,, how you can change all of this, the first step being to acknowledge it. Brush aside all that paranoia and suspecion, you're not the centre of the world after all!
If you asked me whether I'm happy, I'd definitly say yes. And I believe one of the things that contribute to this is that I seldom blame anyone for everything, I always end up putting part of the blame on myself, because it's easier to change yourself than to change others, and when you change your attitude towards people, they do change accordingly. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy, chocs!
Start with yourself, be open to your inner ego... You are yourself's best friend after all! (Nah that was trivial :p)
Disclaimer: Not to come off as a liar or a theorist, I have to admit that I do complain about work, a lot! but I'm trying to stay positive though! Suleen, if you're reading this, I guess you of all people will know what I mean :D
January, 10, 2007 11:35 PM