Cinnamon Zone

World from a different angle

Domestic Sexual Abuse in Jordan

I've been talking to a friend yesterday about this particular subject, and I just realized that it's way too complicated and sensitive issue that I thought. I suppose that all agree that domestic sexual harassment, or whatever it is called, is the most hideous form of sexual harassment ever. And when I say "domestic", I mean the one coming from relatives (i.e, uncles, cousins, brothers, fathers, etc).

 

I used to think that these things hardly exist in Jordan, given our Arabic and Islamic values. Sadly, those values seem to be entirely brushed aside, by less than senseless, sick and depraved people.  I was told that this subject coming from a girl has bad implications. Well, to hell with implications, I know that I am at the farthest point from those issues, thank God. It's a sensitive subject I know, and it's hard to bring it on the table But, I'm telling you, this attitude won't get us anywhere. If you are not suffering from this, that doesn't mean you have to detach yourself and neglect what's behind the scenes. Especially that, ironically, those who are being sexually abused are the last ones who are wiling t speak, and they are justified in that, someone's gotta do it for them.

 

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As awkward as it may seem, I think there's no way to get to the bottom of this problem except by bringing it to the light. And once the cat is out of the bag, it becomes hard to bring it back in. But, it's not so easy in practice as it may seem in theory. The first thing you have to bear in mind is, if you want get the testimony of a girl or a boy who had been sexually abused by a relative, that means you are undermining a whole household, and not everyone is ready to do that, not to mention the repercussions on the victim, given our traditional social system. An-other thing is the social consequences, meaning that going public with such an issue might cause a wave of panic and distrust among people from different families.

 

Well, this is one issue, and leaving a kid to suffer what could later ruin their lives and other people's lives as well is another. So, what do we do? First, if you still have doubts about the existence of such cases in Jordan, let me quote some of the stories I heard myself from people who were sexually abused in their childhood...

 

One of them, a girl in his early twenties, we were talking about general subjects which led to her releasing a long-held secret. She said she never told anyone about it, and seemed so uneasy after talking about it. She said she was home alone with a relative she highly admires. She wouldn't give me a name despite my pressing her to do so. She said that she was just a kid; nonetheless, she knew something was wrong. Till this day, she can' believe it happened. She even went back to doubt it happened, supposing that it was nothing more than an innocent physical gesture.

 

The other story is about a teenage girl, I don't know if I'm going to say this, but it's just too disgusting and abnormal to talk about. Maybe later...

 

Anyways, what do you think of a girl who is being abused continuously by a very close relative, then she just choke it up, and let him control her life! How could he convince her that he cares for her safety if he is the one who is violating her in the first place. How will she ever trust men is she couldn't trust those who are closest to her?

 

"It's not as bad as you might think" One victim said. Well, I think it is as bad as I think, actually it is worse than what any mortal mind is capable of gathering in a whole lifetime, and I think she thinks that too. But, why would she convince herself that it is not that bad? Apparently, trying to live with it...

 

I think I have to gather more of my mind, so I'll just use a common way-out... End of part 1

 

 

الإعلام العربي يرقص على طبول الحرب

يعني من المخجل، بل من المخزي إن صح التعبير، إنه تكون الدنيا قايمة قاعدة و الوضع زي ما إنتوا شايفين و الأخبار العاجلة  نازلة زخ خبر ورا خبر، وتيجي يا رعاك الله تقلب بين هالمحطات و تلاقي قنوات عربية، و أضع300 خط تحت كلمة عربية، عايشة في عالم لحالها، و الأغاني التافهة شغالة على ودنو... و كأنه ما عندها خبر باللي عم بصير برا! يا جماعة قصفوا الجنوب! لا يا شيخ! قول و غير
 
ولا ليش نستعجل بالحكي... يمكن يكونوا سمعوا بـ"عرس المقاومة" فحبوا يشاركوا في الآكشين... و زغرطي يا أم الشهيد، قصدي زغرطي يا عروسة
 
طيب بلاش! مش خايفين على هيفا و نانسي يكون صارلهم إشي في القصف؟ لا لا لا! هيفا و نانسي يمكن طلعوا من  زمان، و شو بعرفكم، يمكن يكونوا هلأ بسجلوا أغاني وطنية، برافو! هادا هو اللي بدنا إياه! أصلا إحنا اللي دمرنا في ال 48 و ال 67 إنه ما كان عنا هيك أشكال... ولا كان عنا قنوات هادفة بتبث برامج بناءة بتعزز "التوجه الوطني" لدى الشباب
يا ريت يعملولنا موسم إكسكلوسيف من ستار أكاديمي للحرب، عشان يعملولنا كم سهرة وطنية لأجل لبنان... 0
 
على هالسيرة، أيام كأس العالم ما كان عنا شغل بالشركة، قال الناس ما بتتفرج على مسلسلات و أفلام في كأس العالم! يا ترى هل سيخف الشغل في وقت الحرب؟  بما إنه الناس ممكن تصير تتابع الأخبار و ما عندها وقت تحضر مسلسلات و أفلام كتير... مثلا يعني
 
على كل حال لا يسعني إلا أن أهيب بكل جبهات النضال على المستوى الإعلامي، ابتداء من مزيكا مرورا بمزيكا زوم (و نفسي أعرف شو الفرق بينهم) وانتهاء بميلودي و دريم ون (و فرق شاسع بين دريم ون و دريم تو، شيزوفرينيا رسمي) و أقول لهم سيروا و نحن من ورائكم، و خليكم هيك بركي بطلع جيل ما بعرف وين بتيجي فلسطين عالخريطة و لا بعرف شو يعني خريطة أصلا... و ليكن شعارنا دائما
 
أمة عربية واحدة، ذات رسالة خالدة، و رقصني يا جدع

Part of the ocean

I read this somewhere and I loved it...
 
"...The story is about a small wave, bobbling along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air- until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
 
"My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going to happen to me!"
 
Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave looking grim, and it says to him: "why do you look so sad?"
 
The first wave says, "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to vanish! Isn't it terrible?"
 
The second wave says, "No you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean." "
 
Yeah, part of the ocean...
 

The Green Card Effect

This conversation took place between me and a girl who immigrated to the United States around two years ago...
 
Me: So, when are you leaving to the states?
 
R: On wednesday, God willing
 
Me: I guess you don't feel like leaving...
 
R: No! I can't wait to go back
 
Me:Really?
 
R: Yeah, I just took to living there, I'm having hard time coping with the life here...
 
Me: aha...
 
Now that ticked me off! She's lived in Jordan for about 20 years, and after 2 years, let's say maximum three years in U.S.A, and she cannot bear to stay in Jordan for a couple of months!
 
Well, I tried to be objective and put myself in her shoes... and guess what? I was also ticked off because I was afraid that I would react in the same way! who knows? life abroad is more comfortable, so would I feel comfortable living there and never going back to Jordan except for vacations? I hate to think about that because I never imagined myself leaving Jordan for good to live in foreign country...
 
Leaving that part aside, I mean let's suppose that she finds life in the stares more comfortable, does that mean shelving your mother language (Arabic that is)... Hear what she had to say when I asked her about that...
 
R: well you know I'm like struggling when talking to people in Arabic here...
 
Give me a break!! She hasn't even completed 3 years there! You should see how her face brightened up when someone talked to her in English!
 
Well, I couldn't flatter her on that matter so I just raised the serious tone up and said: Well, you have to do something about it! It's your mother tongue you know...
 
I don't think she saw that coming, maybe that's why I thought I caught a hint of a grimace on her face...
 
Seriously, what would you do living and dying and establishing a family in a foreign country? It always seemed odd to me... leaving your country must be something temporary, to study or to work, and not to be thought of as a permanent state...
 
Anyways, I don't want to rag on the whole matter so much, but this gave me a good mind to do what I thought of doing before, which is to seek a job in some other country (not the states, something within the same continent like Dubai or Abu Dhabi) and work there for one year or so in sha'a Allah... I want to know if I will pass the test, or fail it.
 
God knows best...
 
 
 

Copa de Vida!!

I'm really sorry for this year's Tawjihi students! As you know, this year World Cup, world's biggest and most anticipated sport event, coincides with Tawjihi's final exams... I think the government should do something about it! It's quite a big distraction especially for male students, even if the matches are not being broadcast except on ART...
 
The  same thing happened when I was Tawjihi, 4 years ago, but that was a different story -at least for me- because that world cup sucked big time! Not to mention that the matches were held so early, in the morning or in the afternoon at most, so it was kinde of a killjoy...
 
Best wishes to all the students out there, hope you will all survive it!


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