“I’m better than that.” She thought to herself. She wasn’t insomniac; she just didn’t want to sleep. There was that tormenting feeling she wanted to throw to the wind, or perhaps, to nurture until it reached its peak. She knew she could cry it off, but she didn’t want to. She knew she could no longer do that. She’s been noticing the weird things that unacknowledged feeling has been pushing her to do, she felt like an attention seeking teenager, and it annoyed her to death, but that feeling, that wicked wicked feeling refused to go away. It haunted her. It made her examine the faces of perfect strangers, she saw him everywhere, but he was never there. “But wait!” she had to stop and ask herself. “Who is he?” She remembered that teller in the bank. Oh, how much he looked like him! She used to stare at him while standing in the line to cash her paycheck. Perhaps it should’ve bothered her. Perhaps she should’ve changed her bank, but it doesn’t matter now, because he no longer looked like him. “Who is he?” She remembered the last time they spoke. He was so mean, or at least not as nice as she wanted him to be. Many times has she promised herself she wouldn’t do it again, but that feeling, that wicked wicked feeling would budge in and push her to throw her pride to the wind. But that last time they spoke was more than she could take, she knew that had to stop. But that doesn’t matter now, because it was no longer the last time they spoke, in fact, they haven’t said a word yet. She remembered that look on his face, it had puzzled her for sometime. Maybe it was the look of regret, or maybe it was that of nostalgia, but it doesn’t matter now because whatever it was it was long washed away down the stream. There was now a new look, one she didn’t get to see and was afraid to interpret in any way. “Who is he?” the question loomed again. He could be the answer or the question. Could be the end of one misery and the beginning of another. He could be a dream come true or a walking nightmare. He’s been there before she was born and will continue to be remembered long after she’s forgotten. “Who is he?” She had no idea, and the question sounded too loud in her head that it almost deafened her. Perhaps she passed him that morning on the street. He was looking for her too. “Who is he?” She knew very little. “Who is he?” She couldn’t tell, but one thing she could tell for sure… He is not a person.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
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On October, 15, 2008 4:05 AM , secratea
from United States
said:
from United States
said:also, I'm totally aware that this is (could be...?) fiction 
good piece!
On October, 15, 2008 10:20 AM , Ola
from Jordan
said:
from Jordan
said:Secratea: I agree it might sound illogical and might be a bit philosophical, but if I explained it to you you might find that it makes sense... It could or could not be fiction, and it could or could not be a person. I will elaborate in another post in sha'a Allah
On October, 17, 2008 6:09 PM , Tariq
from Jordan
said:
from Jordan
said:So many questions, so few answers.
‘Verily We have created Man into toil and struggle’ (90:4)
‘Man is born unto troubles as the sparks fly upward.’ (The book of Job, 5:7)
‘For all his days are sorrows, and his travail grief.’ (Ecclesiastes, 2:23)
I empathise, entirely. But don’t despair, for with every difficulty there is relief.
Tariq.
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from United States
"She remembered the last time they spoke. He was so mean, or at least not as nice as she wanted him to be. Many times has she promised herself she wouldn’t do it again, but that feeling, that wicked wicked feeling would budge in and push her to throw her pride to the wind. But that last time they spoke was more than she could take, she knew that had to stop. But that doesn’t matter now, because it was no longer the last time they spoke, in fact, they haven’t said a word yet."
This part of your story speaks volumes about emotional conflicts i totally can and actually do strongly relate to, as a result of personal accounts as well as friends' experiences ...
However, i don't agree with your final statement; it just doesn't make sense if he's not a person! I guess what you were trying to say is that he might have been a mere creation of her imagination or maybe a figure from her dreams, but still he qualifies as person who just doesn't exist and/or hasn't yet appeared in her real world!
personally, I do think he is a person; a real one who just isn't the one meant to be...or maybe he's just being a jerk!