Cinnamon Zone

The other day I was watching Grey's Anatomy, the episode in which Dr. Ellis Grey, who has come down with Alzheimer, recovers her memory and becomes lucid for one day. Being a veteran in the world of surgery and an exceptionally successful doctor, her life was devoted to her career, and it was nothing short of extraordinary. She's even went off at her daughter for saying that she was happy with her boyfriend, for she considered this something that ordinary girls say, not a promising girl like her who should be focused on her professional future.

During her few lucid hours, Dr. Grey looks back at her life, reviewing and even regretting some of her past choices, such as not building a bigger family and not fighting harder for the man she loved. Then she starts to imagine how her life would've been if her choices had been different, till she says something that stuck too hard in my head that I can't get it out, cutting to the chase, she said:

"And I would have been happy, just like Meredith says she's happy and that would have... changed everything... Maybe I would be fine and we could grow all together and life would be so perfectly ordinary"

So perfectly ordinary. Lately, the perfectly ordinary life has been of my biggest fears. I'm just too afraid that my life will wind up like this: Go to school, graduate from college, work and make money, marry, have children and die. It freaks me out, the perfect life many people dream about. How many times did you have people nagging about doing this because "everyone does it" or not doing this because "people won't like it/ will think ill of you/ will think you have issues…etc?

On the other hand, this made me think that, however extraordinary your life is, you can't afford to give up the ordinary things. But, I'm I just saying, why not make something extraordinary out of the ordinary? Which I think is possible if you have passion towards what you do, and a clear goal in mind. I don't want my life to be and expansion of tradition, I don't want my children to grow up in a society where they are hushed up and called blabbering "philosophers" just because they try to explain a different point of view.

Going back to Dr. Grey, I don't think she really meant what she said. I don't think she would trade a life dedicated to saving people's lives for an easier life. Yet, I think she would go back in time if she had the chance, not to have a different life, but to strike a balance between two lives: one that was her source of satisfaction, and another one she'll probably die yearning for: perfect yet ordinary.