Cinnamon Zone

World from a different angle

Sexual Harassment: Should it Stop You?

There's always been so much talk about working women. While some people defend it ferociously, others took a firm stand against it, justifying their position by different reasons, related to family, children, motherhood, etc. However, one reason that cause some women to give up their jobs, and push men to resent the idea and sometime prevent their wives from going out to work, is one that might seem plausible enough, while if you look closely you'll probably find that it's in fact an emotionally driven reaction for a problem that must be handled in a whole different way, that being Sexual Harassment.

 

First, let's take a look at what sexual harassment is. Before anything else, sexual harassment is an act of sex discrimination, viewing women as objects open for men to fulfill their whimsical desires. It also implies that some men think that once a woman is out of her home, she's up for grabs, and that they can violate her if they want to. Thus, sexual harassment is and insult to women, and even if it entails no physical harm, it's very hurtful for women's feelings, confidence and self-esteem, however they try to convince themselves that it shouldn't be. Of course, sexual harassment isn't only physical. It can take different forms starting from leering; making sexually explicit gestures; displaying sexually explicit objects, pictures, posters, or pinups (Visual) to derogatory comments, epithets, slurs, jokes; unwelcome sexual advances, propositions, or demands for sexual favors; unwelcome comments about an individual's body or appearance (Verbal) and finally unwanted touching, such as patting, pinching, hugging, brushing against another's body, coerced kissing or fondling, physical assault (physical).

 

Thus, you might be thinking now that more women than you originally thought are subject to sexual harassment at work. This is the very idea that makes many men in Oriental societies refuse firmly that their wives be part of the labor market. Understandable? Yes. Right? I hardly think so.

 

So, we all agree that sexual harassment is hideous, unaccepted and sometimes unbearable. But is it enough reason for a woman to give up a thriving career?

 

Let's set the record straight. In sexual harassment, there's an abuser and a victim. In many cases of office sexual harassment, the victim backs out and retreats in silence, while the abuser stays there to harass other women. In a perfect world, the harasser would be reported, fired or punished in any other way. So, when others saw that he got what he deserves, they would refrain from such acts and everyone continues to work happily ever after.

 

Now, most people find it hard to have it done this way. Although we realize that the woman here is a victim, and that her honor and dignity haven't been undermined, it remains very hard and heavy to spill the beans. But again, silence and backing out won't solve the problem, but rather make it worse; for abusers can exist anywhere, not only at work, so what would you do?

 

Let's try to see this in another light...

 

Would you stop walking in the street because of pick-pockets?

Would a store be closed down because of shop lifters?

 

Or, would you rather get those busted to get what they've (or haven't) seen coming?

 

This might seem different, but at the core of it, it's not that different. This is a crime, and that is a crime. This is an abuser as that is a felon. No one should get away with impunity, and you have the write to work just as you have the right to shop or walk in the street. And the word "right" here fits into place, bearing in mind that in Islam, a work is an obligation for men, while it's a right for women, no strings attached. So, if God gives me this right, why would I let one ill-mannered human take it away?

 

You do the math.

 

Disclaimer: Sexual harassment isn't only committed by men against women. It happens the other way around and between individuals from the same gender. However, this post addressed women because is much more likely that women would quit their jobs on that account than men would.



Add a Comment

A Pigeon Called Frank from Egypt
October, 21, 2007 4:46 PM
Nice post!

I think what complicates the matter in Arab societies is the same thing that prevents many women from reporting about being raped; it is seen as partly the woman's fault and embarrassing for her and the family...which is obviously retarded but that's how most Arab societies view 'honor'.

So if a woman is getting advances from a man at work, if she goes and reports it to 'bust' him, if he's a real creep then he might start talking about how she led him on and suddenly the whole thing has become a huge problem. Especially if she's married.

However, i think that these problems wouldn't happen in most good (multi-national) companies.
kinzi
October, 22, 2007 9:13 PM
Ola, great post. I was just at a conference about sexual abuse, and the damage done to a women's core identity when she is objectified like this (especially the way it happens in the East) is real and lasting.

When I explained to other participants that this kind of abuse is a way of life for women here, they just couldn't get it.

I dare Susan Faludi to take on the Eastern world with her desire for women's equality and rights.

No it shouldn't stop anyone. But it will.
bahloul from Jordan
October, 23, 2007 10:17 AM
nice post Ola, thanks for this subject.

i think there are two points to talk about here, the first that why should a woman work if she's having every thing she need? i know that many of women wants to make something for their selfs but it is still hard to woman, married one especially to do two jobs at same time, mother and her work, but may be some women needs this work to help the family for a best future.

the second thing that some women didn't dress a good dress, and following the west with so bad stylish moda, thats one of the reasons for what happens now in our societies, so it is not the mens fault only it is a shared one between both of them women and men.
ola from Jordan
October, 23, 2007 10:38 AM
Bahloul: we're not talking here about why women work. It doesn't matter whether she works because she needs it or not, there's no differece when it come to sexual harrassment. Working women should be treated with respect whatever their reasons for work were. We can't solve the problem by telling all women to stay at home. As I saud, it happens everywhere, not only at work. And you said it, some women NEED to work.

As for the second point, I agree that dressing prrperly is essential as a precaution, but that is also not an excuse for harrassment. The harrasser should be punished and the woman should pay more attention to the way she dresses. If you leave your money in an open safe, then someone steals the, you would of course blame yourself for being careless, but you would still blame the robber for stealing and want him to receive his punishment.

And by the way, even women who dress properly face sexual harrassment...
bahloul from Jordan
October, 23, 2007 11:18 AM
ok i know ola, but the point i want to say that if there no need for woman to go to work, so she can stay most of the day in home and not facing like these problems, i know this is not the solution but it will help her as i think.

for the second this is a one cause of many no one can deny, there is no smoke without a fire, and i agree with you that it is not her fault, and even well dressed women face this problem, the problem is in culture, interests, knowledge and respect for others and their feelings.
ola from Jordan
October, 23, 2007 4:02 PM
Bahloul, I understand what you mean but my point is: shunning the problem isn't gonna make it go away. Let's say she stayed at home to spare herself the agony, what if she HAD to go out for work again and what about those who do need to work? The issue should be brought up and tackled, we can't jsut say stay at home to avoid harrassment.
Wedad from Jordan
October, 24, 2007 10:15 AM
Many uncivilized behaviors wouldn't change unless men change their mentality.
Yes it's men's fault :o

They should stop thinking less about women, and treat them as individuals.

and about the dressing part, if others are doing something and I see it as wrong this does not mean that I should forget my morals and doesn't give me the right to treat them badly!
And no, do you think that if she dresses properly "which means what? jelbaab?" they'll stop it? 5alleena ne7ki 3ala mostawa el share3, I saw it several times, men picking on a mom who was wearing jelbaab and carrying her little baby! Another picking on a woman in her 40's. wal mazeed al mazeeed
5alas it's about her being a female, no matter what she's wearing and no matter how old she is.

Now back to work, I think she should deal with it herself, see what to do depending on the circumstances, and women should stand by each others o yla2olhom 7alleh lal mawdoo3 3'air enhom yo23odo bel bait. Men won't help l2no most of them think the same way.
laila from United Kingdom
March, 07, 2008 2:31 PM
totally agree. It is shocking that such actions are allowed to occur, with no repurcussions for the perps (GRRRR!).

as for the husbands who stop their wives from working because of this. Since it is the middle east, be a man and invoke the respect against any man who disrespects your wife. That would the correct manly response. Deal with the harassaor personally if no legal avanues are open. Locking women up (figuratively speaking of course) is an act of cowardice and lack of masclunity

on another note if women are dressing provocatively for work, then no this is no excuse to harass her. But such dress may be construed as sexual harassment on her part, and she may be asked to tone it down a bit... I read this somewhere cant remember where?