The Middle East for dummies
Anon
August 7, 2006
-- Here are the rules to keep in mind when watching television news in the evening or reading the morning newspaper. Observing them closely will simplify things considerably.
Rule 1: In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs who attack and the Israelis who defend themselves. This is called reprisal.
Rule 2: Arabs, Palestinians or Lebanese do not have the right to kill civilians of the other side. That would be terrorism.
Rule 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians. This is called legitimate defense.
Rule 4: When Israel kills too many civilians, Western powers urge restraint. This is called the response of the international community.
Rule 5: The Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli soldiers, even if their number is very small and does not exceed three.
Rule 6: Israelis have the right to kidnap as many Palestinians as they wish (around 10,000 prisoners to date of which some 300 are children). There is no limit whatsoever and Israel is under no obligation to provide any proof of guilt of the kidnapped persons. It only suffices to pronounce the magic word "terrorist." Lately this included members of the Palestinian Administration cabinet ministers, and members of parliament.
Rule 7: When mentioning "Hizbullah," one must always add the words "supported by Syria and Iran."
Rule 8: When mentioning "Israel," one should never add "supported by the United States, France and Europe;" otherwise people would think the conflict unequal.
Rule 9: Never speak of "Occupied Territories," UN Resolutions, violations of International Law or Geneva Conventions. This could disturb and confuse TV News viewers.
Rule 10: The Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why they and their supporters are allowed to speak as frequently as possible. This way they could explain to us the foregoing Rules 1 to 9. This is called journalistic neutrality.
Rule 11: If you are not in agreement with the above rules or you think they favor one party over the other, it is because you are a dangerous anti-Semitic, anti-democracy, and anti-freedom.
Anon
August 7, 2006
-- Here are the rules to keep in mind when watching television news in the evening or reading the morning newspaper. Observing them closely will simplify things considerably.
Rule 1: In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs who attack and the Israelis who defend themselves. This is called reprisal.
Rule 2: Arabs, Palestinians or Lebanese do not have the right to kill civilians of the other side. That would be terrorism.
Rule 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians. This is called legitimate defense.
Rule 4: When Israel kills too many civilians, Western powers urge restraint. This is called the response of the international community.
Rule 5: The Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli soldiers, even if their number is very small and does not exceed three.
Rule 6: Israelis have the right to kidnap as many Palestinians as they wish (around 10,000 prisoners to date of which some 300 are children). There is no limit whatsoever and Israel is under no obligation to provide any proof of guilt of the kidnapped persons. It only suffices to pronounce the magic word "terrorist." Lately this included members of the Palestinian Administration cabinet ministers, and members of parliament.
Rule 7: When mentioning "Hizbullah," one must always add the words "supported by Syria and Iran."
Rule 8: When mentioning "Israel," one should never add "supported by the United States, France and Europe;" otherwise people would think the conflict unequal.
Rule 9: Never speak of "Occupied Territories," UN Resolutions, violations of International Law or Geneva Conventions. This could disturb and confuse TV News viewers.
Rule 10: The Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why they and their supporters are allowed to speak as frequently as possible. This way they could explain to us the foregoing Rules 1 to 9. This is called journalistic neutrality.
Rule 11: If you are not in agreement with the above rules or you think they favor one party over the other, it is because you are a dangerous anti-Semitic, anti-democracy, and anti-freedom.
August, 11, 2006 3:13 PM