Cinnamon Zone

World from a different angle

Think for yourself

I suppose everyone has heard, at least for once, complaints about women situation in the Arab world. Cries against suppression and injustice have become a part of our typical routine, and we can’t blame women for that because most if not all of us know or have heard about some woman suffering from this, openly or secretly…

 

I’m not here to victimize women or to draw any kind of empathy; it’s rather an attempt to spot the reasons behind this suffering.

 

The first thing that comes to mind when you say “suppressed women in the Arab society) is (Bingo!) Arab men. But seriously, why do they have to level all the anger at Arab men when we try to find a solution to lift the tyranny off women.

 

The question is not who is suppressing women, but: who gives those who suppress women (be it men or society) the chance to do that?

 

Answer: Women themselves.

 

Case in point: She married him because she wanted to get a new life, a rich man who lives abroad, what could be so risky about it? It’s true that she was engaged to him before she even saw him, but who cares!

 

Now she’s married, she starts to discover his dark side little by little… He drinks, he calls her names, he insults her, he treats her bad… yet, she’s dying to get pregnant and have his baby!

 

She gets pregnant, she gives birth, and her so-called husband tells her that she could go anywhere she wants and travel wherever she wants, but she should leave the baby with him, as if she was some kind of a brooder… Now, she gives divorce a serious thought.

 

I know that man can hardly be called a man, but no one forced her to marry him, she surrendered herself to him, and he’s preying on her accordingly…

 

Another one…

 

She has married him, though he was poor. Now, she doesn’t want her daughter to go through what she’d gone through before. Therefore, she wants her to marry a rich man.

 

Her daughter complied with her mother’s wish, and she turned down the one who was crazy about her to marry a rich man.

 

I can’t say that he was a bad man, but she didn’t love him, and I don’t know if he loved her or only saw her as a woman good enough to be his wife, or the mother of his children. Not mention that he’s hot-tempered and has some fatal flaws. How could a man say to a woman, who’s supposed to be his beloved wife, let alone the mother of his child:  Shut up or I will slam your jaw broken!

 

I don’t what her mother thinks now. She wanted her daughter to be happy, and seems like she thought money would serve the purpose… I think it was quite obvious to her that it doesn’t.

 

Now, if we want to cry about suppression and injustice, let’s try to be strong. Not stronger that what we can be but strong enough to choose the right thing to do and the right person to live with. Not to mention being brave enough to stand for what we want. Free your mind and don’t listen too much to what some people might say about being pragmatic, under the motto: “This is the real world”

 

You can’t throw a sheep among 20 wolves and then complain it got devoured…



Add a Comment

thecaller from Egypt
June, 20, 2006 1:40 PM
asalam 3alykom,
this is so great..the post i mean,
i agree with you that women does that to themselves..and it's not that men are bad..they are just like us..good and bad!!
let me tell you this..i had a very hard life and everyone around me kept dragging me under ,except for my mom!!
all me circumstances screamed for their kind of answer too..but i was raised to know that things are always up to me..i am responsible and when i said no to all the sparklings lies..i knew i was gonna pay the price of refusal cause refusing don't just end the struggel,it is only the begining of it..with time things get a bit cooler and allah would give the inner peace which compensate everything else..
thank you for reminding me of my blessings..
may allah bless all of us:)
Ola from Jordan
June, 20, 2006 1:44 PM
Thecaller: Thanks for sharing this :) Hope your life will always get better and better
Rana from Jordan
June, 20, 2006 3:02 PM
you brought a good point , that women bring this on themselves..not all,some.
and i am not saying it is totally the society's fault Ola , but let's keep in mind we are living in a ruthless society.
if a girl was abused by a relative aw someone tried to rape her-a relative she wld shut her mouth , because most probably her family won't stand with her...and let's not forget Crimes of honor (that needs a post alone)
Women shld be armed with education...Education is power so is work.
Nice Post Ola :give:
Abed.
June, 20, 2006 6:43 PM
Do you want my opinion girls ?? or you'll be angry ??? read it and think about it...

I think that Arab Women are ignorants. as simple as that. All young Arab girls are looking for money, cars, clothes..
They judge guys out of their clothes?? what could be worse ??

some Arab girls are too Romantic, bardo wrong...

What I've seen is that the Arab woman lacks the religious background, and lacks the social knowledge. Most of them want to get married, just to get married, no other reason. they have no plans for future, they don't care about raising good children that will rebuild our future. They just care to show their relatives that they married a better guy, cuter, or richer, or whatever. and yet you blame men!!!

How should I treat a woman like this ??? Nicely ??? I might treat her as she deserves, and I should speak her shallow langauge...Or better I could avoid her.
Ola from Jordan
June, 23, 2006 1:35 AM
You have a point Abed, but you cna´t generalize it... so we´re back to what Rana said: Education. Teach your girls how to judge people, make them look farther than an expensive car and a nice suit...
Abed.
June, 23, 2006 4:52 PM
Im sorry ola, but Im talking about 99% of the girls I met, Im sure there are better girls arround, but the problem is larger than we think..